Jeff Boczenowski
Even as a young boy, there was something captivating about Jeff’s personality. He wasn’t flashy and never strove to be the center of attention: he just stayed within himself, he lured you in, and you just thought he was cool. Then he would smile – he had a truly dazzling smile – and you’d be hooked.
People just liked Jeff and were attracted to him.
But as he grew older, life became difficult for Jeff – he took things too seriously. For instance, in the 4th grade, he worried that he would have to stay back. We now see these characteristics as the onset of anxiety and depression, but back then we just thought he was going through a phase.
Jeff was always a well-behaved kid – he never gave us any trouble. His teachers would always compliment him to us on his behavior. He got his school work done, earned good grades, and even held down a part-time job through high school and college. He had a great group of friends and had an active social life. Jeff loved music – he was a drummer – and he loved to jam with his friends. But despite all these accomplishments, things were never quite right with Jeffrey, and we worried about him.
Jeff lived with us for his last three years and commuted to the University of Lowell where he majored in philosophy. We always have enjoyed having our children around, and we certainly cherished our time with Jeff. But he seemed so down and quiet … we imagined that he went to the campus at U Lowell and just kept his head down and went from class to class without talking to anyone. Life seemed to be drudgery for Jeff. Occasionally, Jeff would show his true personality to us: he was quick-witted and he had a great, dry sense of humor. He was thoughtful and sensitive – he was up to date on current events and was willing to share his opinions. In a word, Jeff was deep.
Then he sparked an interest in the semester abroad program. For about a year, Jeff planned for this “experience of a lifetime.” He decided to go to Australia – he was genuinely enthusiastic about it and we were happy for him. We wondered why Australia? to Jeff and he told us he wanted to learn to surf. Jeff made the most of his experience in Sydney – he surfed, he sky-dived, he hang-glided, he toured New Zealand on his semester break, and he made some wonderful friends. We skyped with him each Sunday morning and were so happy for him.
Jeff returned to Groton on the Fourth of July. He was excited to show us keepsakes from his trip. He showed us a videothat a friend made of their trip to New Zealand and I got tears in my eyes watching it because he seemed so happy in the video and I was so pleased that my child could have such great memories from such a wonderful experience.
Soon, however, Jeff sank into a depression. He had such a good time in Australia, and it was just a bit of a downer to return to mundane Groton. In hindsight, he just seemed to spiral down in those last five months. He went out on the Monday night after Thanksgiving and never came home.
Of course it’s devastating to lose a child, and Deb & I were reeling with grief in the days following his death. But soon we started hearing from people – his friends, his classmates at U Lowell, the kids he worked with at Johnsons, even some adults he knew from in town – and they told us of this wonderful, selfless, sensitive young man. We knew Jeff was a terrific young man, but we never imagined that he put himself out like that to other people.
It really is a shame – he died much too soon. But in his short life, he left his mark – he made a difference. And I just love him so much.
What did you think of this article?
(No Ratings Yet)
Loading ...
No related posts.
